


Can't escape from my burning love

by YourLocalGarbageLady



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Body Worship, Forest Sex, Levi hates himself, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Public Masturbation, ZEVI, Zeke is an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-01-24 07:13:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21334294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalGarbageLady/pseuds/YourLocalGarbageLady
Summary: Levi has been on Zeke's mind for a very long time after their first encounter. Now he finally gets to spend some time with him but what does he exactly want to do with this dangerous man who has haunted his thoughts for so long?
Relationships: Levi & Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi/Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 111





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just a trashy zevi shipper who wants to write trashy zevi fanfiction...  
Not sure how many chapters this will have! tags with be added accordingly.

He had stated that he didn't want to ever come across an Ackerman again. Levi Ackerman had proven to be a very dangerous individual but not only due to how deadly he was with a blade in his hands. No, he didn't wish to be near him again but he was not afraid of death or even pain if he had to be honest. Zeke already knew pain and he was well aware his death was to come eventually; even if no one managed to kill him the curse of Ymir would take his life sooner or later. What troubled him was the idea that if he had to face Levi again, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. From the time he almost got himself killed by him in Paradis, the tiny bastard hadn't leave his mind once. At first, he assumed it was pure hatred. It was only natural to be mad about their encounter, no one had ever been able to injure him in that way or to even get that close to him in battle so of course he was on his mind. That was truly a demon in the shape of a man. He crippled his body, he took all his titans by himself and was still able to follow him across the walls, still covered in the blood of the giants he had defeated in record time. Of course, he hated him, he wanted to make him suffer but the more he thought about what had happened, the more he realized that his anger was fading and different feelings took the place of his hatred. Everything had happened rather quickly so maybe it took his brain some time to fully process all the things Levi had done. Yeah, he was a demon. He was closer to a monster than even Zeke himself was and yet... all the things he had done, the skill and bravado it was all truly admirable. Perfect work. Was there anything he wouldn't be able to do? Perhaps he had been sloppy due to the rage has trying to contain after his comrades had been lapidated in order to allow him to get close to his beast titan, but if he had been able to manage such carnage with anger-stained eyes then he'd be unstoppable with a clear mind, wouldn't he? Over time he had come to the conclusion that a part of him wanted to see more of Levi. He was extremely curious about how he'd be in other aspects of his life. How does such a monster live his days when he's off the battlefield? Is he only skilled in the art of killing and taking down titans or is he able to do everything with such precision and effectiveness? Does he have any weaknesses? Is there anything he likes? Do monsters have any pleasures in life that aren't related to violence? Who is Levi Ackerman?

  
The development of his mission on the island of Paradis and his recent communications with Eren had allowed him to gain some information about Levi but rather than quenching his curiosity, this newly gained knowledge only made his interest on the little demon grow. It was clear that his little brother was infatuated with the imp though in which way exactly, he wasn't sure. It was a strange feeling... Zeke wanted to know more but listening to Eren talk about him or just reading the letters he sent were Levi was mentioned somehow left a bitter taste in his mouth. Jealousy, perhaps. In Eren's case, it was clear that Levi was like family, a mentor or even a brother figure. He had been there to see Eren grow, he had helped in the process in a way Zeke hadn't been able to due to obvious impossibilities. So in turn, Eren was probably dear to Levi as well. Where did that leave him? Who did Zeke have? He was jealous of both of them, he was jealous on both of them.

  
However... at the time being it seemed he'd have Levi all to himself. Was this a blessing in disguise or more of a curse? The soldiers who were there to keep an eye on him would be easy to ignore, they were basically more trees on that immense forest. No else mattered there but him and Levi. Neither of them truly knew for how long they were supposed to stay at that lackluster campsite but since fate had presented him with the opportunity to spend time with the one who had been haunting his mind for the most part of three years, Zeke was surely going to try and make the most of it.


	2. Nothing but clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you believe that for a moment I fooled myself into thinking I'd made this a slowburn? I'm a fucking clown...

It was such a strange and exciting thing, being observed by Levi at all times. His watch was impassible and it felt like his eyes were on him every single second; he wasn't sure if the soldier ever went to sleep. Maybe demons don't need any sleep. It should be uncomfortable to have no intimacy and admittedly, he was sometimes bothered by the rest of the soldiers but when it came to Levi it was different and nothing mattered. In turn, it was Levi the one who had it worse and Zeke took pleasure in knowing he was making him uncomfortable. Zeke would try to joke sometimes, make things light-hearted but there was never a positive response from Levi's part. The only way he could get a reaction from him was by being an annoyance so that's what he did. He craved Levi's attention despite technically having it all, but seeing him expressionless was almost agonizing. The man wanted to make Levi react, to make him feel something even if it was negative. The idea of Levi being completely indifferent towards him made his chest feel tight and ache. If he hated him, so be it. Hate was better than nothing.

Their camp was quite rudimentary and only had the bare minimum essentials but with the man in charge being a clean freak, he demanded basins full of water from the nearest river to be brought for them to clean themselves. They couldn't risk leaving the safety of the woods to bathe. No one was particularly fond of the idea of basically bathing in plain sight for everyone to see, the soldiers were allowed to leave in turns to clean themselves in the river bed but Levi and Zeke were to stay in the forest at all times. This, of course, pleased Zeke greatly and upon being informed he was going to take a bath with Levi watching him immediately thought of a perverse way of getting a reaction out of the short man.

He was given a basin full of water and a small bucket to pour it over himself. When he was alone with the soldier this one told him to make sure to clean himself properly since he was tired of his abhorrent stank which only amused Zeke.

"Maybe you should help me." The blond said as he began to take his clothes off. He was methodic with his movements, trying to put on a show for the other but Levi stood with his arms crossed and wasn't looking at him directly. The smaller man ignored the comment and just told him to hurry so they could be done with that.

The water was cold, though he wasn't expecting anyone to make the effort of warming it up a bit for him. A little whine escaped the big man when he felt the cold water against his body but that gained him the hint of a smile from Levi, who enjoyed his discomfort. The smile quickly vanished when Zeke spoke. "You like what you see?" He asked, combing his wet hair back with his fingers, his other hand was on his chest. He knew the other was going to keep ignoring his words and wouldn't give him the satisfaction of even responding to his idiocy. However, Levi made the mistake of putting his eyes on him for a moment, catching the glimpse of how Zeke's hand traveled from his chest to his abdomen and then lower until he gripped his own cock which wasn't entirely soft.

"Stop being an ass and just wash, I don't have all day."

"What? You never do this when you shower?" The blond reply as he slowly stroke himself. Levi wasn't looking at him but of course, he knew what the bastard was doing. "It gets really lonely being in a forest all day, surrounded by soldiers that treat me like an enemy." His voice grew husky. "You can't seriously expect me not to relieve myself from time to time." There was no reply from the other, only silence. Zeke didn't like his silence. However, he was sure he saw a slight tint of pink on Levi's face and he enjoyed that very much and encouraged him to keep pleasuring himself in front of him and going as far as to moan rather loudly. He wouldn't be ignored.

"At least have the decency to keep it quiet." The soldier finally spat angrily and turned around to avoid watching such disgusting performance. He was sure the other wasn't going to stop that now. Even if he cut off his tongue it'd only grow back and he couldn't chop off his head. At least not yet, he'd have to wait for others from his superiors.

As Levi had his back turned to him, the bearded man approached him carefully and rested both hands on the other's shoulders. Surprised by the fact the other remained still rather than immediately pushing him away or spitting out insults he allowed his hands to make his way down, caressing his arms and then his abdomen. However, when he reached his destination he was slightly disappointed. Bending slightly to rest his chin on Levi's shoulder, he felt the other get tense as he surrounded him with one arm and started massaging the front of his pants with the other.

"You're not hard yet," the tall man observed, pressing himself against Levi.

"Why would I get hard for a piece of shit like you?" Zeke was sure he heard a hint of lust in his voice but truth be told, he could've been just hearing that he wanted to hear at that point. Still, Levi's body was starting to react in a way that didn't match his words.

"If I'm such a piece of shit then why are you letting me touch you?" Upon feeling Zeke's hot breath on his neck Levi finally reacted, strongly grabbing the hand that was between his legs, squizzing it hard and removing it from his body. A crack of a broken finger was heard but Zeke didn't mind the pain and in return he bit Levi's neck, making him curse.

"What the fuck are you trying to do?" Levi's voice was strained, the grip of his hand lost strength for a moment and Zeke took his opportunity to go back to what he was doing as steam was emanated from his broken finger, reaffirming his hold of the other's body with the other arm.

"Do you really want me to say it?" He chuckled, nuzzling Levi's neck almost tenderly. The brave soldier suddenly felt weak between those strong arms. "So you're into dirty talking? I suppose I should've guessed that by the way you always talk to me. I didn't know that was your idea of foreplay." A soft groan came from Levi's throat when his neck was kissed and sucked on, he didn't reply to any of Zeke's comments. Both of them were fully hard by that point and while trying to keep his hips still, the bearded man got his hand between the fabric of Levi's pants to start pumping him properly. The soldier had to bit his tongue to keep any more sounds to come from his mouth. "Maybe you'd feel more comfortable if we were on equal ground." With these words, Zeke took one of Levi's hands so he could return the favor. He was bending his arm rather awkwardly, but it wasn't painful. "Do you feel it?" It would be a lie if he said it never crossed his mind that the Ackerman could just take this moment to quite literally rip his cock off but surprisingly (an luckily) that wasn't what happened. Levi obliged and Zeke couldn't help but start rubbing himself on the other's hand.

Levi closed his eyes and internally cursed. The bastard was big. Even though moments ago he had tried not to look he had caught a glimpse of how it was when semi-soft but what he was now stroking was way thicker than he had imagined. Tired of being in that awkward position, he finally turned but didn't look at the other in the eye. Zeke was delighted by this and the fact the other seemed to be eager to smoothly slid the foreskin of his uncut member over it. Pulling down Levi's pants, the blond grabbed his behind roughly and went in for a kiss, he was dying to get a taste of his lips but he was rejected. Levi bit his collarbone hard enough to draw blood. It was slightly disappointing but Zeke couldn't complain.

"I don't want to taste your dirty breath." The small man said, he was no longer struggling to find his words. "I can barely stand that disgusting smell of smoke when you talk." That gained another chuckle. Instead of going for a passionate kiss the blond decided to keep kissing the other's neck, sucking on his pale skin while taking off the other's shirt with one hand and slowly jerking him off with the other. Now they truly were on equal ground, both stark naked and touching each other.

Zeke's kisses began to go lower, sucking on the skin of his strong chest and rubbing his nipples. Against his will, he winced and a soft moan escaped Levi's lips when he realized what the other intended to do, pushing him carefully until his back was against one of the big ass trees around them. That lovely sound only encouraged him to get on his knees in front of the other, sucking on his chest and then abdomen, the movement of his hand getting slower and more painful. Zeke gave the other a thorough look up-and-down before smiling with satisfaction, the other had to avert his gaze. "You are so beautiful." Those unexpected words made Levi's entire body to become stiff for a moment. Just what the hell was that weirdo talking about now? He couldn't stand to look at him and meet his eyes, those deep eyes that seemed to be gleaming with something akin to adoration. It was disgusting.

Levi's displeasure soon started to vanish when Zeke's hands started to massage his thighs and he felt his hot breath against his erection. It was difficult not to look down but he shut his eyes harshly when he felt the heat of his tongue against his skin. One hand was still on his thigh while the other kept his cock firmly so Zeke could wrap his lips around his tip. His ministrations were unbearable, even though it wasn't the first time he had his dick sucked, Zeke was certainly extremely eager to please him, without leaving a single millimeter of skin without being explored by his tongue. His beard tickled his sack every time he took his entire length in his mouth and Levi had to bite his own hand not the scream while aggressively gripping the blond hair with the other. The way his tongue move and the vibrations that Zeke's own moans sent down Levi's cock were way too much. He wasn't sure whether these intense sensations were the result of his abstinence or if the Marleyan was really that good at giving head. Perhaps a mixture of both. Either way, he knew he wasn't going to last long and the other was aware of it as well.

Pulling his hair hard, a part of Levi wanted to tell him to stop while the other wasn't really bothered by the idea of cumming in Zeke's mouth. The fact that the blond seemed to be hoping he would do just that made him feel conflicted. What was more important? His own carnal pleasure or giving in and doing exactly what Zeke wanted him to? It wasn't like he had any time to decide. Zeke increased his speed and sucked him hard, throwing him over the edge. His body jolted, he had never had a partner so willing and god-be-damned, rather generous. He kept going even as Levi became soft in his mouth, making him finally push him away as his cock was way too sensitive after shooting his load down his throat.

"Levi..." Zeke moaned softly upon being separated from him, licking his lips. The aforementioned turned to look at the man who was still on his knees. He had expected him to have jerked off in the process but both hands had always been on him and he noticed his big cock was still fully hard between his legs, twitching with every heartbeat and leaking precum on the forest's floor. Levi fucking hated himself for what he was about to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think in all or most zevi smut I’ve read the sex is kind of rough, with Zeke either talking down on Levi or spanking his ass and believe me, I have absolutely nothing against a good dom Zeke fucking Levi’s brains out but I wanted to write something a bit different (at least for now). The small must be worshipped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, I can't believe I haven't posted anything else in so long? I feel like I posted yesterday but damn, I'm so sorry

Levi got on his knees, matching the other man’s position and avoiding eye contact at all costs. He was hoping it didn’t show but he was hazy, it had been so long since he had felt this kind of way. 

Rather awkwardly, Zeke wrapped his arms around him and tried to bring Levi close to him. He was big and his body was warm which was undeniably nice to feel, especially after his climax but that wasn’t the reason why he was on the grass with him at the moment.

“Don’t…” the soldier muttered as he pushed the other’s arms away, his voice still slightly coarse. “This will be easier if you keep it quiet.” Zeke gave him a bit of a puzzled look. Levi was trying to find a good reason to justify his actions, to justify what they had just done and what was going to happen next, but his mind was blank at that time. He let out a heavy sigh of frustration, used one hand to push Zeke fully to the ground, and with the other, he grabbed his still fully erect cock. For a second he wasn’t sure if what he saw in the other’s eyes was fear or excitement. _Probably both, fucking weirdo…_ He thought as he started to jerk him off.

Even though he had clearly instructed him to keep it quiet, Zeke started moaning.

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi said quietly yet commanding, using his free hand to cover Zeke’s mouth without stopping his other task. Their faces were almost touching as Levi whispered to him: “If anyone sees us like this I’ll fucking kill you right here, right now.” Zeke gave him what looked like an understanding look but who the hell could tell at this point.

Levi bit his lower lip, annoyed and frustrated; mostly with himself. To Zeke, this image, seeing him so bothered because of him, on top of him while taking care of his needs was almost too perfect, it was a shame he wasn’t allowed to be vocal about it because holy shit, he really wanted to. All of this didn’t last for long as he was very much at his limit. Ruining the rhythm of Levi’s motion Zeke started thrusting his hips into his hand and biting his tongue to avoid making much noise, Zeke came on his abdomen, enjoying Levi’s touch and the view he had of him. The smaller man didn’t immediately remove his hand once his job was done, which gave Zeke the chance to hold him so he wouldn’t just slip away.

“Why…?” Zeke said between muffled breaths, and for the first time in a while, Levi actually looked at him in the eye without quickly turning away.

“We don’t have time.” and with those words, the soldier got up and started to put his clothes back on, leaving Zeke more confused than before.

“I sure hope you aren’t expecting a kiss and cuddles. Just clean yourself once and for all.” He was demanding but his voice didn’t sound as harsh as before and that pleased Zeke.

Now that his brain was starting to think clear, Levi was cursing himself. Would his soldiers get suspicious? How long had all of that actually taken? And most importantly, why the actual had he allow that to happen? Probably it was best not to give it much thought. At least now Zeke seemed to be doing as told.

“Ah! The water feels much colder than before.” the blond complained.

“Not my problem,” Levi replied, now fully clothed and crossing his arms.

* * *

Once they were back, no one asked any questions, there were no weird looks or anything to make them suspect that anyone had noticed that something out of the ordinary had happened but for some reason, Levi was a bit paranoid. Maybe paranoid wasn’t the right word. Confused? Haunted, perhaps. His plan to not give it a lot of thought didn’t work well during the night when most people were asleep and all he could hear was the crackling of the fire.

Disgusting. How had he allowed that to happen? As much as he wanted to act as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place that day all he could do was remember it. He could only think of that soft tickle on his neck caused by the other’s beard when he was kissing him, how strong those hands that had held him were, how aroused he had gotten when he felt that hard cock pressed on his behind and how what had transpired had felt… nice. Somehow what irked him most the fact that somehow, the way the blond’s actions felt was... strangely gentle.

A piece of wood Levi snapped between his hands and he threw it in the fire more violently that he intended.

“Do you ever sleep?”

“Do you ever shut up?” The soldier didn’t look at the other when he spoke; he didn’t want to acknowledge his presence but he knew that ignoring him in this situation would represent an extremely difficult task.

Zeke sat close to him but not too close. “I don’t like silence very much. It’s kind of uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

For a moment the blond thought the other wasn’t going to reply. He could sense just how awkward he was feeling talking to him. Were they both equally awkward or was that just his impression?

“I wouldn’t really know,” Levi said, grabbing the cup of tea he had left aside. It was pretty much empty but somehow he felt that holding something would help him, it would bring him some comfort or at least something to distract himself with. “lately there’s someone around here who is always being a nuisance so there isn’t a lot of silence.”

“I sure hope you’re not talking about me.” The blond looked up at the sky. He could’ve sworn that the stars looked far more beautiful there in Paradis than anywhere else. “I was real quiet when you told me to today. You, on the other hand…"

Had that not been one of the last good teacups they had left, Levi would have thrown it right on his smug face or maybe forcefully shoved it down his throat. He had his blades at reach but the pain he’d caused him would definitely make him scream and waking up those who were asleep was far too rude, they deserved a good night of sleep. Before he could even think of a comeback to that remark, the other opened his mouth again.

"I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, is the ground not comfortable enough?” One of Levi's eyebrows raised, but Zeke couldn't see his expression since he was still staring at the stars with a stupid smile on his face. There were moments like this, where Levi had absolutely no clue about what was going through the other man's head and that didn't sit right with him. He knew for sure it couldn't be anything good, but he was the kind of person who felt more comfortable being prepared, and if he couldn't predict in the sightless the next move of his opponent, he simply felt at a disadvantage. There wasn't even a discernible pattern of his behavior. Was his head so damn empty he acted on pure instinct like an actual beast? No, that couldn't be true, sadly.

"Everyone else seems to be asleep so I suppose it's comfortable enough." To that Levi reply with what sounded like a snort and Zeke looked away from the dark sky, smiling at his captor with content. "I wish we were here in different circumstances. This really is a beautiful site, have you even noticed how brightly the stars are shining in this clear night sky?

The soldier wanted to roll his eyes hard enough to look at the inside of his skull. What kind of bullshit was he talking about now?

"I really mean it." Zeke continued as if he had read what was on Levi's mind. "It's a special night."

Even if he was curious, Levi wasn't about to just turn his eyes wherever the warrior pointed at. It just felt like a dumb trick to distract him or something. Maybe he was really that desperate to try to leave the forest or just was that stupid. "I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, beardo. I'm not here to admire the scenery." He replied dryly, pretending to drink from his empty cup.

"Do we still have tea? I'd like some. Maybe it'll help me sleep better."

"Too bad. I just finished the last drop." Upon saying those words his brain was assaulted by the memories of that day, the image of Zeke taking his load and even licking his lips without missing a single drop. The teacup fell from his hand as he suddenly felt hot and flustered. "Fuck" Levi muttered. Luckily enough the cup didn't break but he made eye contact with Zeke and his pulse was accelerating. Why the hell did he have to remember that just now? What was wrong with his brain?

"Hm?" Zeke tilted his head, unsure of what had just happened but happy that his eyes had met Levi's even if just for a fleeting moment. Was his dear captain blushing? It was hard to tell when only the stars and a fire lit that space. "Perhaps you need to sleep too." Feeling bold, the blond reached out and gently brushed Levi's dark hair away from his face, caressing his cheek. His light skin felt surprisingly warm to the touch.

Unceremoniously and with unnecessary force Levi slapped Zeke's hand away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Although aggravated, his voice was trailing off since he didn't want to cause a scene.

"Everyone else is asleep." There was a gleam in his eyes that made Levi's pulse stop. Without asking for anything he was pleading and all Levi wanted to do was to punch his beggar face right there.

But he didn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit short but at least it didn't take me half a year (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

“I hate to break the silence but-”

“Shut it,” Levi replied firmly, feeling more confused than ever.

When Levi had grabbed him by the hand and guided him to his tent Zeke had imagined they would have ended up rolling on the ground while enjoying some passionate kissing that’d lead to more but instead they were just sitting across from each other and Levi wasn’t even looking at him. However, he didn’t need to have a good look at Levi’s face to know how he was feeling. His aura emitted such negativity that almost reminded him of that monstrous energy that possessed the soldier the first time they met; thankfully it wasn't quite there  _ yet _ .

Zeke wanted to think that at first Levi’s plan was similar to his ideal night but it was clear that he had changed his mind and now he was deep in thought. What was giving him the slight less glimpse of hope was the fact that he hadn't kicked him out of his tent, they were still sharing the space. If Zeke was any braver or more stupid, perhaps he’d attempt touching him again but this time that felt like a very bad choice, not only because he’d end up screaming in pain but it’d ruin any chance of being intimate with him again and after what they had done earlier in the middle of the forest Zeke wanted more. He was willing to wait if it guaranteed he'd get his way.

His heart was pounding so hard inside his chest that he was sure it was all he could hear in the tranquility of the night. “You said it yourself…” the blond started to explain. This time he wasn't shut down immediately as he tried to get the other’s attention. “You’re supposed to keep an eye on me, right? So while we’re here look at me, at least.”

Slowly, Levi looked up at him. His eyes were as cold as ice and piercing like knives so… not as different from usual. The blond couldn't help but smile a little, which appeared to annoy the other even more.

“What do you want?” he muttered in annoyance and Zeke replied raising an eyebrow in fake confusion.

“What do  _ I _ want? Levi, you dragged us here.” he noticed how the small soldier was clenching his fists with such strength that it looked as if he was about to break his own hands in the process. “It’s okay, you know…” the chance of those words actually being somehow comforting was low, but he gave it a try. “I won’t touch you again if you don’t want me to.” Now it was Levi who had a confused expression on his face, but his seemed genuine. 

“Like I could believe anything you say.” Levi replied after a moment of hesitation. The other moved slightly to be a little closer to him and the soldier was ready to break his bones if he contradicted his word right there but Zeke didn’t attempt anything. He seemed dreary and yet he still had a stupid smile on his face.

“It’s going to be painful and difficult for me. You’re so wonderful, Levi...” the aforementioned was feeling all sorts of mixed sensations with each new word coming from his mouth and didn't know how to react. He wanted to punch him, stab him, kick him, touch him, bite him. “but that’s exactly why I don’t want you to think ill of me. I do respect you, even if you think I’m lying. I don’t want you t-”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met.” Levi spat before the other could finish his sentence. He wanted to push him to the ground and punch him in the face repeatedly. He wanted to push him to the ground and take his clothes off, bite his neck, drag his nails across his chest. He wanted to stop thinking.

Zeke looked at him, puzzled. There was a moment of silence and then he smiled, much to Levi’s annoyance.

“At least you think of me as a person now and not a beast.”

Silence again.

“Tch… Levi averted his gaze, starting to feel way too tired of everything to form a decent answer. He noticed that for some reason he wasn’t clenching his fists anymore and wondered if he was for some reason lowering his guard after those pathetic meaningless words.

True to his word, Zeke didn’t touch him but got even closer to where he was sitting. How was it even possible to be so close inside a tent without touching? Levi believed he was starting to feel claustrophobic.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” 

“Die.”

Oh, how much he hated the sound of Zeke giggling like an idiot. No one but him would react in such a way to Levi’s harsh words.

“We both know that if I drop dead right now it’s likely to bring you more trouble than not.”

Levi rolled his eyes, annoyed by the fact the other was kind of right about that. Sure, his death at that precise moment wouldn’t be ideal but… it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

“So, tell me, Levi… what can I do?” Zeke was sure that the other was getting visibly tense now and it was so painfully difficult not to touch him, not to mention that seeing the effect he was having on his beloved soldier was affecting his own body as well. “As I told you, I won’t touch you… if you don’t want me to.” His tone was becoming disgustingly sweet. “But if you want me to, I’ll do anything you ask me to do.”

Truth be told, Zeke was mostly expecting Levi to turn his head at him with a look of absolute revulsion so the fact he instead seemed to freeze was basically a delight.

Something unintelligible came out of Levi’s mouth, but it didn’t sound different as his usual muttering when he cursed Zeke.

“Can you repeat that?”


	5. Chapter 5

“Hold me.” said Levi so firmly that it felt like just a statement rather than a petition. How ridiculous was all of this? Why was his biggest fear the idea of being somehow intimate with his sworn enemy instead of being attacked by him? He was used to physical pain, used to defend himself from anything that tried to kill him but he wasn’t so sure anymore of what Zeke wanted at that moment. All he could think of was how warm it had felt when he held him earlier that day right before he had stupidly chosen to jerk him off instead of pushing him away or just cutting him into pieces.

“Are you sure?” It took all of Zeke’s willpower to not wrap his arms around Levi but he wished to make sure the other actually wanted him.

“If I wanted to stab you I’d have done it already.” Levi replied, assuming the other’s hesitation was due to fear but once again, the soldier had to hear that stupid laugh coming from the other. “What?” he spat angrily.

Instead of wasting time trying to explain to Levi why he laughed, Zeke closed the distance between them, doing as he had been told. Sadly for him, the soldier didn’t reciprocate the hug but the fact he didn’t reject him was good enough. 

His small tense body was slowly trying to relax as he started to feel the warmth coming from Zeke’s body. For some reason, his own cheeks were feeling quite warm as well.

“This is so stupid…” the soldier’s voice was barely a thread that the blond didn’t quite get but this time he didn’t ask for clarification, he only held him a little more tightly. “So stupid…”

Levi awkwardly situated his hands on Zeke’s sides, feeling incapable of fully reciprocating the hug. Fortunately, the other was keeping his mouth shut for a change and he appreciated that. As he was feeling less tense he started to nuzzle the crook of Zeke’s neck, who couldn’t believe his luck and tenderly caressed the back of Levi’s head.

“You’re so cute, Levi…” 

_ Ah, he had to ruin it already _ . The soldier didn’t say anything but buried his nails on Zeke’s skin, hoping that he’d know better than opening his mouth again.

The smaller man moved away enough to look the other in the face. “I hate hearing you say my name.” 

“That’s too bad, I love saying your name, Levi.” There it was again, that stupid smug smile of his…

Not having the energy to fight this time, Levi’s head fell against Zeke’s chest as he wrapped his arms around him in silent defeat. 

During this moment of weakness, Levi wondered how it'd be to sleep with those arms wrapped around him, trying to imagine the warmth and comfort, the intimacy. He couldn't, he couldn't even allow himself to imagine that sort of thing. Humanity's strongest soldier shouldn't let his guard down like that but... there had been something about the way Zeke had looked at him earlier in the forest away from the camp, there was something in his eyes and the way he said his name that almost made him feel... adored? Could that really be the right word? It felt ridiculous to think about that. What was he even doing? If anyone saw him right now they'd think he had completely lost his mind. Perhaps he had.

As he was deep in thought he buried his face on the crook of Zeke's neck again, his hands were gripping his clothes so tight he was starting to ruin the fabric. The blond could feel how tense the little soldier was. All he wanted to do was to comfort him, he truly didn't want him to suffer in any way but he had no idea of what he could do to make him happy. In the end, any happiness he could offer Levi would be temporary if their ideals didn't align. He didn't know anything about his real plan, he hadn't even considered sharing it with anyone else because he knew people wouldn't understand, could Levi be an exception? As much as he wished for that to be the truth, he couldn't risk Eldia's salvation based on this sort of hope. For the time being, he'd concentrate on doing anything he could for Levi but once his plan had to be set into motion again, then... things would be different.

"I know this is probably is a stupid question.." Zeke rested one of his hands on the top of Levi's head, praying the gesture wouldn't be taken as negative. "but are you okay?"

The sound that came out of Levi seemed like a snort or maybe a weird laugh, but he couldn't look at his face to know exactly what his reaction had been. Not that Levi's face was easy to read anyway.

"That really is a stupid question," Levi replied dryly. At least his grip had relaxed and that appeared to be a good sign. "Do you really think I'd be doing this if I was okay?" 

“Why not? Is there anything wrong with what we’re doing? Is far purer than what we did earlier.”

Another strange noise came from the soldier, this time it was more like a grunt.

“Don’t even talk about it.”

Zeke smiled silently and decided not to tease him about it despite how much he wanted to discuss the topic with Levi. 

"How can I fix that?"

"You can't... of all people, you..." he couldn't finish his sentence. He didn't really know what to say since he didn't know how to fix his problems or what exactly were those feelings tormenting him. He wanted to punch Zeke in the face hard enough to knock off all his teeth but also wanted to kiss him until it hurt and then some more.

He didn’t expect any of this to be easier but still, hearing those words hurt Zeke. Somehow it had been less painful when Levi had said that he’d feel better if he died. It always was like this, wasn’t it? He was always useless when trying to make those he cared about happy.

“Are you sure?” Now it was Zeke’s voice that sounded like a murmur. “I know I can’t grant you eternal happiness but perhaps just make you feel content for the rest of the night…”

“I won’t let you touch me like that again.”

Levi put a little distance between them again and Zeke couldn’t help but laugh at his own incompetence.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Right…”

“How about I make you some tea?” the blond offered with a smile.

“No… you always ruin it.”

“What? I make great tea, even your soldiers have complimented it!”

“Ugh, they don’t know what they are talking about.”

“What do I do wrong?”

Although he seemed annoyed to have to explain to him the do’s and don’ts of tea at first, it was clear that was one of his favorite topics and probably not one he got to discuss often. Truth be told, there was a certain gleam in his grey eyes while he was talking about it that made Zeke ask further one it, even going as far as to pretend to not know basic stuff just to have an excuse to keep Levi on this subject he seemed so comfortable with. There simply was something almost magical about hearing the person you love talk about something they are passionate about even if you don’t particularly care about it. As long as Levi was content with that, so was Zeke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, no sexy stuff in this one ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I was in a fluff with guilt kind of mood
> 
> I hope you enjoy it regardless!


End file.
